I'm 19, I admit I haven't worked out much since high school, I graduated at 145 pounds a year and a half ago, I'm 5 feet 11.
Last summer everyone kept saying they didn't recognize me at first because I looked different, then quickly added "different but good" I was 175 in June and had gone up a size in a few things but everyone was saying I looked good and I didn't feel any different
In September I went to get some dress pants adjusted but the tailor measured my waist and said there's no way the pants would fit even if he let them out the maximum amount and told me to buy a couple sizes up. At that time I was 185 and I knew I'd gained a little more weight over the summer, I had bought a bigger waist size in everything too and also needed a new belt, but in the mirror I never saw myself as fat besides a visible stomach in t shirts but a normal size.
Comments started turning after I hit 185 though, every so often I'd catch someone looking down at my waist area instead of at me when talking, my friends asked me to join them at the gym every few days when they never used to and kept giving me tips on meal prep, asking how much I weighed out of the blue, and lots of little comments about health or nutrition in passing I didn't ever used to hear.
In December I finally went along to the gym with some guys. About six or seven of us aged 19 and 20, we all took turns getting on the scale to see where we were at. They were all between 150 and 170. I went last and when I got on the scale I was expecting something in the 180s but went to up to 203 and the guys started yelling and patting me on the shoulder about how I had 30-50 lbs on the rest of them even though I wasn't the tallest, and one of them said "damn man what do you eat?" I laughed with them but I still didn't feel like I was that big.
This weekend another few months later, I had a event with a few people I hadn't seen in a while were there. One of them turned to their friend, pointed at me when they didn't think I could see or hear, and said "someone's liking Kraft Dinner!" and held his hands out to mime a gut and they both laughed. Another walked up to me, patted my middle in plain view of everyone and said "it happens to all of us, but it really shows"
That was two different people calling me fat very bluntly so I weighed myself again that night, and I haven't changed much since December, I'm only 205 which I don't think is that big for 5'11". When I look in the mirror I guess I have some excess weight but I still don't see myself as fat, I don't feel like I look much different.
Maybe I'm only seeing what I want. I'm catching people look me up and down when they don't think I'll notice or making accidental references to weight in conversation. Strangers, men, always call me "big guy" if they need to talk to me. "What can I help you with, big guy?" I've never been called that nickname and now I'll hear it every day if I go out.
After this weekend I tried on my old jeans from last year and I could barely pull them over my ass and thighs, then the button wasn't even close and no joke I was sweating trying to get them on
I know I've gained weight based on the scale, the comments, and the clothes. I'm not denying that but when I look in the mirror I don't see a "Fat Guy". I worry that if I saw myself now 1 year ago before I gained any weight I would see someone huge
My size looks normal to me and everyone else looks thinner. Is that normal? Someone from my year always had a gut and I saw him recently and thought he lost weight, but he's actually the same size and my reference has just changed. When we met I considered him fat and now I'm bigger than him and he looks skinny to me.
What do you guys think? Is 205 at 5'11" for big for 19? I don't work out much so it's probably mostly fat. When I look in the mirror I see a normal size, just some roundness, but everything else is telling me I'm huge. Comments, needing bigger clothes, and having gone up 60 pounds on the scale without working out. I'm worried I've become "the fat guy" and I'm too much in denial.
Is there any kind of objective metric that can tell me where exactly I'm at without getting confused by how I interpret myself the mirror?
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