How to open a restaurant that is doomed to fail

Over the past few decades I have seen many restaurants come and go. Have seen many trends come and go. I see new restaurants popup in the neighborhood and think, I should try that place, only to find them shut down before i try them. What I have noticed are a few ways to make sure that your restaurant fails almost guaranteed:

Step 1. Open for strange, broken hours during the day. For example, open from like 11-3, then close, and open back up at 5-9 or something like that. The people who eat late lunches or older people who eat earlybird dinner just LOVE this.

Step 2. Close on random non-consecutive days. For example, close on Sundays and Tuesdays. Sole proprietor and don’t want to work every day, and too cheap to hire help to work on your days off? not to worry, soon you won’t have to pay one cent towards this lousy business.

Step 3: Bonus points! Close random days AND random hours. For Example, close On Mondays and Thursdays, where Wednesday you are open 11-7, but Fridays 9-9, and mondays like 6-3. This is sure to get rid of those pesky customers who get hungry at random times on various days.

Step 4: Make the restrooms for employees only. Those annoying customers can hold it.

Step 5: Close for “family reasons” more than once. Its cute the first time you take care of family first. The second time, maybe you should just stay home. for good.

Step 6: Don’t open on the days and times on your window sticker hours. Or just leave the sticker blank. Its also good to confuse customers by making your Yelp/Google hours different than actual hours.

If you follow these simple steps when opening up your restaurant, you are well on your way to collecting that unemployment check by the end of the first year.


from Bodybuilding.com Forums - Nutrition https://ift.tt/3t6JjpI

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