Hey Guys, I know there is a thread on here about eating disorder support but I would like to share my story and was wondering if anyone has gone through something similar? I will try and keep it short.
So long story short When i was 19-20, I became with obsessed with bodybuilding, looking "shredded" and being "aesthetc". I began eating huge caloric defecits combined with long fasts and extreme training (2-3 hours a day).
I noticed that I started getting a tonne of attention from women (my goal) but my hormones and energy were completely destroyed. I barely had enough energy to study. I did this for years. It got to the point where i could barely get out of bed each day. I felt like i had been hit by a truck. I was in a constant state of depression and just this extreme low energy. Here's the funny part - the only way for me to feel good was training. It become an addiction. I had to go to the gym and train so hard for so long so i could feel good. I'm not sure of the exact reasoning behind this but i think maybe my serotonin/dopamine was so low i had to train mega hard to gene ate those feelings again. The only time i ever felt good was in the moment of training hard. I also had super anxiety as well.
I wasted my time at university, I got fired from 4 jobs... i didn't date or do anything with my life for years. During this time i managed to get a girlfriend and dated her for 6-7 months. Fell in love. But even when i was with her i was in a constant state of depression and overtraining. I remember this time i was with her and she said "you look like you are going to cry". We broke up 1.5 years ago yet it still haunts me because she was a great girl.
The only thing that saved my life was COVID and gyms shutting down. Once gyms shut down. I trained at home but over time i realised i started feeling better less tired and my mood increase I was also able to hold down a job.
I look back and it really hurts realising i spent 19-25 completely wasted and ruined. Has anyone had a similar situation how did you cope with it? It even hurts when i think of my ex sometimes and the relationship we could of had, or the better jobs i culd of had if i was normal.
So long story short When i was 19-20, I became with obsessed with bodybuilding, looking "shredded" and being "aesthetc". I began eating huge caloric defecits combined with long fasts and extreme training (2-3 hours a day).
I noticed that I started getting a tonne of attention from women (my goal) but my hormones and energy were completely destroyed. I barely had enough energy to study. I did this for years. It got to the point where i could barely get out of bed each day. I felt like i had been hit by a truck. I was in a constant state of depression and just this extreme low energy. Here's the funny part - the only way for me to feel good was training. It become an addiction. I had to go to the gym and train so hard for so long so i could feel good. I'm not sure of the exact reasoning behind this but i think maybe my serotonin/dopamine was so low i had to train mega hard to gene ate those feelings again. The only time i ever felt good was in the moment of training hard. I also had super anxiety as well.
I wasted my time at university, I got fired from 4 jobs... i didn't date or do anything with my life for years. During this time i managed to get a girlfriend and dated her for 6-7 months. Fell in love. But even when i was with her i was in a constant state of depression and overtraining. I remember this time i was with her and she said "you look like you are going to cry". We broke up 1.5 years ago yet it still haunts me because she was a great girl.
The only thing that saved my life was COVID and gyms shutting down. Once gyms shut down. I trained at home but over time i realised i started feeling better less tired and my mood increase I was also able to hold down a job.
I look back and it really hurts realising i spent 19-25 completely wasted and ruined. Has anyone had a similar situation how did you cope with it? It even hurts when i think of my ex sometimes and the relationship we could of had, or the better jobs i culd of had if i was normal.
from Bodybuilding.com Forums - Nutrition https://ift.tt/36gYbIZ
0 comments:
Post a Comment